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DAYBREAK

Name: Yao Song Ong (Ong Yao Song)

DOB: 18/01/87 (Male, 22 Years Old)

About me: Currently serving NS.

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Designed by :Wei jun
Image : one

Asked her whether she wants to meet my mum next week as she wanted to meet her. However she told me that she don't want.. I can't force her, but I also don't know how to tell my mum.. Maybe we shouldn't meet..

Went to Wallet Shop at Tampines Mall to look for a wallet for my mom of Mummy's Day.

Got this elle wallet for $89.10.

Got to know that she had blocked me on MSN, but had unblocked me.

Why? Why must she do that? Now what is really wrong? After I had done so many things for her.. Just one click on the 'block' button is more than enough to hurt me.

Yes, when you're angry, you have the right to be angry, but you don't have to be cruel..

Why is she doing this to me? Didn't she remember to days when we're happy together..

She told me something just now.. That she is now dating another guy..

I really wonder why she rejected me in the past.. Is it because of our religion or what..

Things had gotten from bad to worst.. Tears dropping down from my cheeks again..

Had raised my voice at her yesterday.. Reason being that she knew that I will be in the stn waiting for her to meet her up for dinner and to discuss things, however she did not want to eat as there are some familiar faces in the canteen.

Then when I went to B7, and saw a packet of food on one of the files. I then asked her whose food was it, and she told me that she had asked Dev to buy for her.. Then why she ask him to help me buy too? What do she mean by last minute? Since he is able to buy food for her, why not just buy another one for me? She knows very well that I did not have dinner, not to mention lunch, and was so hungry.. In the end, she only ask Dev to buy for her, completely forgetting (or don't bother) about me presence.. Is that treating me nice? I doubt so..

And also another thing, she knows that I want to meet her to discuss somethings. Okay, she went to see OO, then went down to B7, justifiable. But she just completely forgetting (or once again don't bother) that we need to discuss something.. And she did not even bother to ask me..

She might think that I like to raise my voice at her, but that is completely not true. When I raised my voice at her, the pain in my heart is excruciating that nothing can compare it. I never feel good whenever I raised my voice at her.. I'm a bad guy, that's must be on her mind.. But can she at least think why I had been reacting that way. Not because BF/GF thingy, but even friends will also be angry if they are treated that way..

Everytime she told me that she's very stress, sick and tired of people gossiping, I too were also stress, because she kept saying that it was me who made people gossip about her. Yes it is correct, but that was not the only reason. People had also been gossiping about she and Dev. But why she still continues to treat Dev so nicely, having fun chatting with him, touch him like nobody's business, even got bodily close to him. And she only blames me when other people say things about her. I really had no idea why she would always look for Dev, and not me? Is it because I'm useless to her.. Huss once told me that Dev purposely touch her, which made her felt uncomfortable.. But it seems like she don't mind right now, after seeing it in my own eyes during the breakfast after last night shift..

I'm worried about her because of Dev, but she kept saying they are just friends. That's how she thinks, but is it how Dev really thinks? Then why he told Mike about one night stand thing? Even though it might be a joke, but think about it, you think he'll don't dare to do that? Considering what he had done in the past, it is possible that he will really do it..

I just want her to know how I feel.. I wanted to tell her personally, but she always run away from it. Sometimes when I got the chance, I just don't bear to make her sad, make her think that I'm making false allegation..

Took the wrong train while going back after work. Was totally engrossed in my thoughts.. Only realised the after passing 2 stations.. Managed to got off and took a cab back, which cost me an unnecessary 9 bucks for the fare..

Anyway, went to meet Vince and CO regarding the deferment of my appointment.. Wanted to go MP NPC, but heard from CO that she also wanted to go there.. But what CO didn't know is that she wanted to stay.. She's afraid of adapting into new environment. I would choose to leave BN, but CO had done so much for me.. What should I do.. One is someone whom I sayang, the other one is someone whom I'm feel grateful for..

Even though I have already decided, but I can't bear to disappoint either one.. What should I do.. I'm in a great dilemma..

Told her my blog yesterday. Not sure it should be the correct way or not.. Hopefully she'll understand me more from the blog..

Went to HTA today, saw another intake have POP practice. Reminds me of my POP in 2007.. Time passed really quickly..

Wuan told me to join his NPC. After telling me so many good points about his NPC, was seriously thinking of going there. Anyway, they also need a few more men by June.

A wasted trip to HTA, just to go there for a 5-min test..

Went early to stn yesterday, to discuss with Head MPO regarding my signing on. She

called me in the noon, but I left my hp in stn. When I called her back, she asked

why my sudden decision of not signing. Then she told me that a lot of people are

blaming her for my sudden decision. Who's that kaypo who keep making her unhappy,

and indirectly it became my fault again for making her sad. I have no intention of

making her sad at all. But will she understand? I had always tried my best to make

her happy by showing others that as if nothing had happened to me. I had fought

for her to let her go outside since she wanted to drive, despite me condemned

inside the stn for more than a month. I hope she really appreciates for what I'd

done..

Went for breakfast with her and some other colleagues. However they left first as

I need to talk to CO. I tried to call her, but she did not pick up. I was thinking

of going back alone, since they left without me, however Mas told me to call Foo

to check where they were. I reluctantly called him, and managed to meet at the

coffeeshop. I think my tone was a bit harsh towards her, when I ask her why she

did not pick up my phone call. Feel guilty about it. In the end, I was too tired

to eat anything. When leaving, I tried to talk to her, however the way she talk to

me is very impatient and not really interested. I really had no idea why she

always treat me that way. Treating others so nicely, but when it comes to me, it's

like another treatment. It wasn't like that in the past..

After went back home, I smsed her, apologising for my harsh tone early, but she

did not reply. Msn messaging her, however she gave very brief statement, and went

offline.

Why? What is wrong again? For no apparent reason I'd been treated that way. Like as if I deserves it.. I'd been trying to make her happy, but the way she treat me really saddens me..

Passed her the choclairs sweets to her via Louis, however she wanted to pass back

to me as she said she was looking for the sweets for her cousin's wedding. However

she do not need the sweets anymore. But I just told her to keep. She reluctantly

kept it. She still seemed to be angry with me, which is understandable. Towards

the end of the shift, we did talk for a few times. However, she still seemed to be

angry with me. Hopefully tomorrow can improve..

Had my first meal since 2 days ago. Nothing to do, went to lots of places to look

for eclairs sweets. Went to Airport T2 and T3, and finally found the sweets at

Mustafa Centre, but the brands are those that are unheard of, since I know Cadbury

do make Eclairs sweets. In the end got Cadbury "Choclairs" instead of "Eclairs".

Wonder whether the name had changed. But I bought it anyway. I wasn't conviced. I

went to look for "Cadbury Eclairs" at Heartland Mall Cold Storage, Tampines Giant

megamart, and White Sands Fairprice, however to no avail. Maybe the product name had

indeed changed? Expected 2 hours trips in the end became 6 hours.

Had a real bad day yesterday.. Quarrelled with her again.. This time over dinner

issue. I had already informed her that we should meet at 5pm to pass her the baby

donuts. I reached the stn at 4pm. Dev was at the work station, and since it was

still quite early, I went to the gym. After the running and showering, it was

already after 5pm, however she still did not message or call me. I was afraid to

call her as she did not pick up my call earlier on. About 5.30pm, I went to the

canteen, thinking that maybe she had already reporting for work. But I was wrong..

So wrong.. She and Dev were in the canteen, having dinner.. I was not happy,

really.. This is the 3rd time that she know I came to the stn early, but did not

ask me for dinner, espcially this time round. She knew that I will meet her to

pass her the baby donuts, but she did not ask when I was, and I seriously had no

idea how she and Dev managed to meet up and had dinner together..

In the end I just bought a drink from the stall, and sat somewhere away from them.

I quickly finish drinking and went up to the office. After a while, I saw her in

the office, and she went straight into the male locker room to meet Dev, talking

happily, completely forgeting about the donuts. I then passed to her the donuts,

hoping at least she will thank me. But the first thing she said was, "How am I

suppose to bring these down?". I was really sad.. I almost throw the donuts

into the bin, but was stopped by her. Later in the evening, she messaged me,

asking why I had threatened her to throw the donuts. She do not understand how

difficult it was to get the donuts.. She just said that I too emotional. Who

won't? It was like fail to keep an appointment.. And also I thought she would at

least show some appreciation by asking me for dinner or what, but in the end,

nothing..

I know that I had overreacted. I apologise to her thru sms, but she told me that

she wanted to sleep and don't disturb her. It's my fault. I kept saying that I

want to protect her and make her happy, but in the end I was the one who make her

upset.. I did not eat for the whole day. Hopefully things can improve in the next

few days..

Went for the medical examination. Everything ended at about 10am. Since it was

still quite early, maybe I should go to Raffles City JCo to buy baby donuts for

her, since she had been craving for that for a long time. Went there, but was

informed by them that the baby donuts will be ready in the afternoon. I went

around the place, try to pass the time. It was noon, I went to JCo again, but was

once again informed by them that the baby donuts will only be ready by 1pm. I then

proceed down to Bugis Junction JCo to buy. Took cab home. Reached home at about

2.30pm. Smsed her and I told her to meet in stn at 5pm. About 3+pm, she called,

asking where to get "Eclairs Sweets". Sounded familiar, but couldn't remember

during that time. During the conversation, she told me to hold on as her father

called. I held the phone for a while, and suddenly the line was cut off. I waited

a while before calling her again. But she did not pick up. Don't know what had

happened. Maybe I'll ask her later when we meet. Wanted to have a mini celebration

with her on my signing on thing. ~~^^

Doing counter again.. It's been 5 out of 6 tours doing counter.. Never mind, at

least she looked happy today. She, Tan, and I chatted for quite a while at B7. She

kept telling me that she's craving for the baby donuts. Should get for her soon.

I had received the job offer from the recruitment side. Was so happy, and worried.

I will be signing on in a month's time, but it was still before my ORD.. Have to

go for medical examination tomorrow.

Brought grandma to Tampines 1 in the late morning to look around. Then subsequently brought her to Kim's Gary Restaurant to have lunch. Forget to check whether JCo donuts was really there or not.. Got to know from her that she had actually went to Tampines 1 in the evening. Too bad, since I had went to Tampines twice today. But also at the same time scared she might not be happy if she sees me.. Don't why I have this feelings.. Maybe I'm just afraid that she might think I purposely go there to check on her..

Had a really bad ward duty experience, even though it's only a mere 5 hours. The accused kept scolding and shouting at the top of his voice. In the end, he had to be transferred to isolation ward. Azh was the one who kept talking sense to him, haha. I just sit and watch how the accused scold us.

Did not have any rest for the entire shift. After performing road block, proceed straight to CGH. Took cab home.

Had a treadmil run in the gym before the shift yesterday, managed to clock 2.4km within 11 minutes. Will push harder for myself if I really want to get gold for IPPT.

Wanted to bring grandma to Tampines 1 and also to activate her new senior citizen ezlink card, but too tired to do anything today.. Maybe tomorrow..

Saw her wearing the specs that I bought for her. She looks funny and cute, hahaha. ~~^^

Had nothing to do at home yesterday, so went down to Bugis Junction to look for Adidas sandals. Cost me S$82/- for the sandals, when I thought the price is S$69/-. Maybe I see the price tag wrongly. Went past Jco Donuts, was craving for it (Shouldn't have walk past there, waste money again haha). Msg her to ask whether she wanted the donuts, and got her 3 Oreology (she really can eat ^-^) and 1 Tiramisu for myself. Then went to Bugis Street to help buy a pair of specs.

In the end she only ate 1 oreology and my tiramisu (forget to tell her to leave the tiramisu for me, X_X), and the rest johns ate.. Didn't eat anything for the whole night shift..

Was doing counter with Hairy. Asked him who had mentioned her name on the in-service yesterday, then he told me that a lot of people were talking about it. He also told me that Dev actually told the others that I was hitting the mannequin as if I was hitting him. I have no idea why Dev said that.. I was just doing the right PDT move, nothing more. I was already a bit nervous during that time, when did I have the time to think about him..

Not happy..

Came so early to OPA for nothing, just to look around, see others doing IPPT. But at least it was an eye-opener. There are some hidden dragons in Team B of G Div. TL as expected, got gold, together with Muz. Wanted to train and be like them. She did not pass the IPPT, feel sad for her. Somemore she did not feel well after the run. But she seemed like rejecting my help, no idea why.. In the end she did not attend the 2nd half of the in-service.

During the PDT practical, we had to hit the mannequin using some moves. Dev went first, followed by me. I think I hit the mannequin a bit too hard, as people behind me said so. Then I heard someone mentioned her name, but I wasn't sure. I just continue doing it. Next was Mike, his moves are killer blow. You won't imagine the echo produced in the hall when he hit the mannequin. Reminds me of a case whereby he carried the subj into the lift when Mas was hurt by the subj. It was a fun experience.